A Sinners Prayer

Dear God,

Yup its me I know I know long time no see
I've been busy ,you know here and there
Somehow i forgot how much you cared
The way you sent your son to die for me
You think i could remember a 9am service every Sunday

I quickly forget my memory isn't good
I really don't read my Bible like i should
I would thank you everyday if i wasn't so caught up
You gave me so many blessings once again i just simply forgot

I know i know excuses won't do but i keep thinking tomorrow i will thank you
Tomorrow i will remember to thank you for the sunshine
For waking me up through my crooked blinds
For not getting in a car accident when i was an inch close
For letting me pay my asue when i feel am dead broke
For giving me the cold instead of the flu
For guiding my mother the way i ask you to
For still blessing me even though i forget
For letting me live my life with no regrets

What can i say this is a sinners prayer
I tried very hard to not put a bad word in here
You know i use them occasionally you know
But i have to give you thanks for this beautiful mouth
And for these big full eyes and
For my crooked teeth and my chunky thighs

I know you don't promise tomorrow so tonight this will have to do
Remind Dear Lord to always say thank you
Well enough about me you made me so you know
I just hope i remember to thank you again tomorrow.

Life Happened

High school reunion the quintessential spot to see who has become and who has not
Many with fatherless babies and overweight wives
Many working in a burger joint or a boring 9-5
A few at the bank sharing bank tellers jokes; a poor synopsis about themselves
A few who showed up but wish they had gone to hell
Then there is that perfect couple that doesn't look perfect anymore
Some more shyly coming through the door
Then conversations begin and catching up occurs
Many are telling lies
Few whispering true words
I thought you were in college?
I thought so too
I dropped out
Well what the hell happened to you?
Life happened
After kid number 1 was kid number 2
I was learning to be a pharmacist but got addicted on some other shhhh
I gave up on sports and i gave up on my health
My wife left me and I've been through hell
The banks won't stop calling and my job cut me loose
Guess what the hell happened
Life happened too
All that money spent for 12 years of school and you mean to tell me you stuck at Atlantis too?
Well i went off to Canada and tried to learn a thing or two
That didn't go well
Life happened too
If i could've seen into the future my preparations would have never failed
But life happened

Dreaming

I remember dreaming yes dreaming of what i wanted to be
a doctor, lawyer or teacher maybe
but boy does reality set in like a beep...
now i don't even remember what my dreams use to be
dreaming went to hoping went to wishing went to gone
Dreaming turned to materialistic aspirations stuff that got me nowhere and just made me impatient
I remember dreaming yes dreaming of what i wanted to drive
would it be Japanese, European, i knew it certainly wouldn't be a jag
but boy does reality set in like a beep....
now what i driving ain't even close to a jeep
Dreaming went to unrealistic, broke aspirations and once again it just made me impatient
Impatient to see what could actually be if i took my time and discovered me
I remember dreaming yes dreaming of what i could be, would be, should be, need to be
They encourage you to dream, you know "they" teachers, parents, pastors, sisters, brothers, Grammy, aunts...yup pretty much they
They want your dream because theirs never came true.
They need you to dream so that they may believe dreaming is not a thoughtless cloud that happens when you close your eyes..
Well I still remember dreaming yes dreaming because if i don't dream i won't believe and if i don't believe i won't succeed and reality will always set in like a beep.

How would you justify?

How can you justify an 11 year old coming to school with a gun threatening to kill 3 of his classmates? Sure his classmates may have teased him bully him and even stole his lunch but how can you put a value on 3 young human life.The problem with this is you can't. How can you justify an 18 year old being crushed by a jitney driver? Sure he stole money from him and the driver is the sole breadwinner of his home with 7 children to feed but what is the value of human life? The problem with this is you can't justify it. There are many things in the world that cannot be justified. I have thought about it and am sure persons in the legal system have thought about it. The simple problem is you just can't.

Everyday she sits by the phone
silence, and then more silence
It never rings
Newspapers are scattered everywhere
dishes piled to the roof and cupboards echo emptiness
She's been searching but can't seem to find
Days, turn into weeks and weeks turn into months
The newspapers everywhere all have oblong circles every three or four inches down
She's started to smoke and here eyes have long turned red
The liquor bottle in front of her is empty but she doesnt need anymore
Her heart has been heavy already
Unemployed
Its invisible letters are all over the wooden walls
Unemployed
Its invisible letters are all over the silent phone and the empty cupboards.
Talk about a dark corner or a deadend road
Her hair started falling out and she's almost down to a size 1
Unemployed
Her kids were all taken from her
Nothing she could do for herself let alone them
Diplomas, certificates, trophies all in a box
None of it matters...Unemployed

Send them all back..well except my Gardener

Send them all back... well except my gardener. Now you may be wondering who needs to get send back. well i think you know, aw come on do not play like you don't know. Well am refering to the haitian problem in the Bahamas. Many Bahamians have a problems with the haitians but have yet to realize what they do for the country. Hence the title send them all back. Haitians do so many little and bigs that Bahamains may or may not admit to. It starts from little odd jobs like gardening, handyman, carpentry and even police officers. The Haitian problem is a little complex here in the Bahamas you see because really and truly these Haitians were born on Bahamian soil and just have Haitian ancestory. The problem is the Bahamian law says that if your father is not born here you cannot be called a Bahamain whether you are born here or not whereas in Haiti the law states whereever you are born is your nationality. So they are displaced not only by the ocean but by the people. The people in the Bahamas and the people in Haiti. Well i like my gardener so do not send them back and i know he loves his family so you can't send them back....I guess there's no one left to send back.

Tabbi

My cat Tabbi is simply the best thing that has happened in my life. He is sweet and the only thing i look forward to when i come home. I can not imagine a day without him. I had him since May and i tell u he has grown so fast. I have him absolutely spoiled anything he meows for he can get. Tabbi is like my child. My precious Mr.Tabs. Today i had to take my precious Tabs to get neutered. The look on his face said it all..don't leave me mama please. But i had to i felt like crying like it was his first day at school. I wasn't ready to leave him and he wasn't ready to leave me. Funny how these furry little animals get so attached to your heart. It was like he needed me. I remember the first day i brought him home he was to little to climb on the bed so i lifted him all the time and his water bowl was to big every time he went to drink it almost fell in. I make sure my Tabs wants for nothing. He was so tiny he slept in my size 8 shoes. Oh Tabs can't wait for him to come home.

Have You Ever Noticed?

Have you ever noticed how we trust complete strangers? For example, for persons who catch the bus, take a flight, eat at fast food restaurants, try a new hair stylist and the list goes on. Do you know the bus driver or pilot? Can you trust him with your life? Well every time you step out on that plane or that bus you are trusting your life to someone you do not know. Well we assume that they have a license and certificate and of course we trust the airline but what happens if they lied, bought the license or worse like in the movies tie up the real person and put on their uniforms and carrying on like normal. Well you know am just wondering. And what about the food handlers, sure they train them to wash their hands and properly prepare our food. But what about that percent who is completely miserable with the job and does care to adhere to the rules? What happens to our food then? Boy i don't care to find out. Well am not trying to scare you because am a big eater of fast food and i do travel via bus or plane but you as usual am just wondering.

Happiness

What is the meaning of being happy? Is it getting that new tricycle at Christmas when you were young or is it buying your first car? Is it finally graduating from high school or is it finally getting a degree? Is it marrying that guy you love or having your very first child? Is it having a good relationship with your family or perhaps having no relationship at all makes you even more happy. I find myself trying to figure out what is the meaning of happy or in particular what will make me happy. Lately persons have been telling me how pessimistic and cold i am. And lately i am beginning to think i am not happy. Deep down inside maybe i am miserable, sleep deprived, cold and lacking something that should evidently be in my life. Well while the answer is clearly not known right now i hope one day i find happiness